Hey guys!
So, im sure some of you all have noticed ive been MIA.
Well, my computer broke! Im going crazy.
Not sure when it will be fixed, so just bare with me, and enjoy the old updates! (:

I'm the one who fell in love, and stayed that way..

You always deserve to be the most important person in somebody's life. Anybodys, just somebodys. You deserve better then to be left alone in this cold world. You deserve to be loved

your best friend is here when you have nothing,
but more importantly when you feel like nothing.

I guess to some extent, you get used to being alone. You get used to not expecting phone calls & having nothing to do at night. You don’t expect to turn around to open arms any longer. The small sounds of him have been replaced by silence. Your thoughts echo through your head, with no one to share them with. All in all, being alone isn’t terrible, it just hurts like hell.

People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.

Because sometimes there is no easy way out. You just have to grin
and bear it. Sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through
the flames, just braces yourself and bit your lip. Sometimes you just
have to sever the ties clean off. Because in every relationship there
comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how
good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. You have to save
yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can’t
you keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.

I am so afraid that I am responsible for my own loneliness.

Sometimes it makes me want to laugh
Sometimes it makes me want to take my toaster in the bath.

Let’s be honest. Sometimes there is nothing harder in life than being happy for somebody else.

Little girl, don’t be so blue.
I know what you’re going through.
Don’t let it beat you up.
Hitting walls and getting scars.
Only makes you who are.
No matter how much your heart is aching.
There is beauty in the breaking

You know that feeling? That feeling when you just want the right thing to fall into the right place, not only because it’s right, but because it will mean that such a thing is still possible? I want to believe that.

Letting myself fall for him was only going to lead to pain. I didn`t need to jump head first into some overwhelming feeling that would lead to disaster. I could make a rational decision about where I was going to put my heart, or if I was going to put my heart anywhere at all.
-Wild Roses ; Deb Caletti

you told me her name.
it sounded familar in a way.
i could have sworn i'd heard him say it a thousand times.
oh, if only i had be listening.

If you hear a song that makes you cry and you don’t want to cry anymore, you don’t listen to that song anymore. But you can’t get away from yourself. You can’t decide not to see yourself anymore. You can’t decide to turn off the noise in your head.

I miss you even more than I could have believed. And I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a sequel of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become.

Maybe for once it's not about the happy ending,
Maybe it's about the story.

So I stopped watching, I stopped caring. I lost all interest, and I stopped wearing these plastic smiles. I'll wash my hands clean. I'll forget that you forgot about me. And I'll live the life, the big city feeling, cause it's better than suburban dreaming. Living off the friends that hate you, who talk shit on me. Like I don't know who my real friends are anymore. No, I don't know you anymore.

it seems like a million years ago we dated,
but it wasn't. maybe you`re over it.
maybe it doesn`t mean anything to you anymore.
maybe it never did, but it meant a lot to me.
you meant a lot to me. &&& you still do.
--THE O.C.

There's always going to be an occasional night when you break down and cry, because you know things will never be the same.

I have to ask you a question.
It's a good one so think about it.
If two people love each other,
but they just can't seem to get it together,
when do you get to that point of enough is enough?

There comes a time in your
like when you're all mixed up
and your mind doesnt know what
to do. This is when you have
to leave it up to your heart
to decide <3

But I should have known this right from the start.. only hope can keep me together. Love can mend your life, but love can break your heart.

I never knew until that moment, what it was like to lose something I never really had.

My life:
Well, T tells me that he likes me, then the next minute, he just wants to remain friends. wtf? i was okay with it too this evening, like, i told myself i wasnt gonna get upset, then he got on messenger and was talking to me, and he was like, i know somethings wrong, blah blah blah. frack that. that upset me. anyways, Hollywood Undead tomorrow! & escape the fate, atreyu, and the sleeping, im soooo pumped!

Poll: Tell me a Secret.

My secret : I finally know what its like to lose what i never had. Im falling in love with a boy, who only wants friendship from me, and i cant stop myself.

EDIT: THE CONCERT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! <3

 baby, i sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes.

This time I won't let you get away
my heart is in your hands and it's there to stay.

I walk awhile before I sleep, count the secrets that I keep. I hope for more, I know for sure. I fall apart before I weep. I disconnect the telephone, cause I can choose to be alone. I'll get more done, I'll have some fun, pretend you're not the only one.

when i get really lonely i think of you smiling.
-glen hansard

“Tell him yes,” she said. “Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no. -Love in the Time of Cholera

Don’t wake me up if this is a dream because things aren’t always what they seem. So don’t ruin this for me. If you’re a fairytale, I still believe.

ive always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance, and up until now i swore to myself that i'm content with loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk, well... you are the only exception.

You're the brightest star in a pocketful of skies. My colored picture in a world of black and white, my only dream come true in a restless winter night. My dream come true.

And if there's no tomorrow, and all we have is here and now,
I'm happy just to have you, you're all the love I need somehow.

We give and we take from each other so much,
 that I feel we don’t need no one else

sometimes it isn't where you're going, it's who you're with,
in this moment we're connected and if we fall, we fall together.

And then my soul saw you, and it kind of went,
“Oh there you are. I’ve been looking for you."

It scares me how I need your laugh.
You're everything I've grown to miss.

And I cannot stop thinking about you. I cannot stop wondering if you’re constantly thinking about me. Don't close your eyes dear, I'm still staring. I won't lie dear, I'm still breathing. Even though your beauty is breathtaking.

Everything I need is everything you are. And I'm taking a chance. This time could be different. This could be all I’m waiting for.

because i know you're too good to be true
i must have done something good to meet you.

"It's just hard because I am absolutely falling head over heels for you.
And maybe you fall in love often, but I don't."

Been through a lot in the last year, it's like everything
I love is slipping away. And every time I come home,
some more of me isn't there. I gotta get it together, I need
to do things for myself. I've given everything but still you
take more from me. I need some room to breathe.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Sometimes it takes hundreds of miles and hours of quiet bus rides to make you remember how much you love someone. I can't sleep. And I miss you. And the city and I haven't been breathing the same. It's never easy, regardless of the season.

My life....Well, its crazy. Things are okay with T ( the boy) I just find myself over analyzing eveything. Like, yesterday, i went to see him, and i just feel like he didnt want me there. He says it wasnt like that at all, but thats just how i get. hopefully ill talk to him later tonight. Im sick, and i hate school. Homecoming was okay, the music sucked, but i had fun. Heres a photo :

Poll: Something youre excited for?
Me - Hollywood Undead, Atreyu, Escape the Fate, & the Sleeping concert on FRIDAY!
& Florida over Xmas break (:

Please comment, I love this update <3

Fear is the heart of love.

Color the coast with your smile
it's the most genuine thing I've ever seen
I was so lost, but now, I believe

When it comes to love, you need not fall but rather surrender, surrender to the idea that you must love yourself before you can love another. You must absolutely trust yourself before you can absolutely trust another and most importantly, you must accept yourself before you can accept flaws of another.

'Cause you are beautiful inside, so lovely and I can't see why I'd do anything without you,
And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you <3

This world isn't easy, don't try to understand it. You're allowed to keep what you want inside, and it's okay not to be easy to read. Cause the people that love you the most will love you so much more than those things.

You're the dream that hasn't ended, and I'm still anxious for rest. Your words they seem to hang above my head. You're the bud before the flower, unfurls into full bloom. Captivating beauty, but it maybe all too soon. You're the song that writes a story, but leaves a lot to read. The closest thing to perfect, but the farthest thing from me.

everything we do is a choice. oatmeal or cereal, highways or sidestreets, kiss her or keep her. we make choices
and we live with the consequences. if someone gets hurt along the way, we ask for forgiveness. it's the best anyone can do. -Pushing Daisies

I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we’re wrong for each other, wondering whether we’ve got the energy
that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink
a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I’ve been thinking about you for 23 hours. There’s something about
you I can’t stay away from. Something about you, that makes me want to love you.

Even though a lot of things in my life are falling apart, im so happy <3

Poll: Wanting any tattoos or piercings?
Me - of course, i want more of both.

heres some news...

you know how i mentioned i had a cheer competition on last saturday?
Well, the day before six cheerleaders quit. We had nine. So we cheered the game
friday with the three who didnt quit, then practiced till midnight, made a new routine,  and still competeted the next day, and got third place out of seven. Im proud of that, very proud.

Ive got a new boy in my life, and all is well right now. He could be boyfriend material (:
Theres a little distance though =/
Anyways, i will update soon, just thought id tell you about cheer.

Love,
Kait <3